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The Wash

Written by: 0-T on June 29th, 2002



In the midst of the Nas/Jay rivalry, Suge sides with Nas. He heads to a club where Jay is expected to show, unbeknownst to Jay.

Dame: Ay, you feel like hittin up this club tonight?

Jay: Eh, I just went to the club last night... I got 2 interviews tomorrow.

Dame: You gettin old, man.

Jay: Nah, I just gotta make sure my interviews are hotta!

Dame: Aight, we'll stay in. I'll tell Bleek not to wash the 6.

Jay: .... nah, make him wash it anyway. He needs to earn his keep.

Dame: HOLLA!

Jay: *throws up the Roc*


---2 hours later @ the club---


Suge: That nigga Jay ain't show cause I'm here!! He shook!!

Kurupt: May I go to the bathroom, sir?

Suge: Nigga, what did I tell you would happen if you let go of your Death Row chain one more time?

Kurupt: C'mon, I look stupid walking around holding a---

Suge: *looks at Kurupt*

Kurupt: *holds up chain* Death Row for Life.


Bleek gets State Property to help him wash Jay's ride


Bleek: We gotta have this ride clean by 9 o'clock. Hand me the bucket, Lil' Chris.

Sparks: For the last time, I'm Sparks! That's Lil' Chris over there.

Oskino: Nah nigga, I'm Oskino. Lil' Chris is sleep.

Sparks: Oh, my bad.

Bleek: Damn, you niggas can't even tell yourselves apart. How you expect me to?

Oskino: Nigga, we State Property. We sold more than both your albums combined.

Bleek: Bitch I told you, my street team fucked over me.

Sparks: Yeah, they shoulda put Jay-Z's face on the cover of your samplers.

Bleek: WHAT?

Sparks: Nigga, how you gonna let Beans, Free, and Cam move ahead of you on a label you been down with since day one?

Bleek: BITCH, I'LL F--

Dame: hey, what's all this noise out here? Less talkin, more cleaning.

Bleek, Sparks, and Oskino: Okay Dame.

Dame: Bleek, I told you to call me Mr. Dash.

Bleek: But they just called you--

Dame: State Property are assistant executives now. They can call me Dame.

Bleek: WHAT??? Nigga I--

Sparks: *snickers*

Bleek: SHUT UP OSKINO!


-- Jay walks in and notices they accidentally scratched his ride --


Bleek: *Looks real nervous*

Jay: All I wanna know is who

Sparks: Bleek did it, Jay!

Bleek: BITCH! I didn't even wash that side!

Jay: Bleek, what'd I tell you about my doors?

Bleek: I know... wax on, wax off *does Karate Kid motion* I was doin that

Jay: Then how'd this scratch get on my door, Bleek?

Bleek: C'mon Jay--

Jay: Mr. Carter.

Bleek: I'm sorry... Mr. Carter... as I said, I didn't wash that side of the car.

Oskino: He lyin Jay! He did that whole side.. he wasn't watchin what he was doin. I saw him when he scratched it!

Bleek: Nigga, if you was watchin what you was doin, how the fuck did you see when I scratched it?

Jay: So you did scratch it

Bleek: I mean.. no-- I mean, he didn't see me not scratch it... cause I didn't.

Sparks: BUSTED!!

Bleek: Nigga, your grill is busted. FUCK YOU!

Jay: Bleek, you disappoint me.

Bleek: Aw c'mon Ja- Mr. Carter.

Jay: I ask you to do this one simple thing, and you can't even do that right. I tried to give you an indoor job, and you fucked my carpet all up.

Bleek: Man, them corners is tricky!

Jay: Enough... give me the keys to your ride.

Bleek: But that's mine! I had that before I even met you.

Jay: *reaches out hand*

Bleek: but.. but... you won't even drive my car. What you need it for??

Jay: The keys, nigga.

Dame: HOLLA!

Bleek: *hands Jay-Z his car keys*

Jay: (looking at Oskino) Hey, Sparks

Oskino: Yes Jay?

Jay: Sparks, take the keys. *throws them to Oskino*

Oskino: I'm not old enough to drive yet.

Jay: No, I want you to drag the keys along the side of Bleek's ride.

Bleek: Aw c'mon man. That's my only ride man.

Dame: hehehe



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