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Vol.6: Roc-A-Wedding Written by: 0-T on Feb 21st, 2003 Beanie Sigel: Don't tell me you lost it. Bleek: I had it on me this morning, I know I did! Beanie: Jay is gonna throw you OFF this mother fucker Bleek: Shit... shit... shit... *walks in circles, confused* Beanie: How you lose a million dollar wedding ring? Bleek: SSHHHH... keep your voice down nigga! Beanie: *chuckles* Nigga you dead. Bleek: Fuck, I gotta think... THINK Bleek think... if I was a million dollar wedding ring, where would I be? Beanie: In a ring box, prick... same as any other ring. Bleek: I lost the ring box too nigga! Beanie: I'm fuckin with you nigga. Calm down. Bleek: Man, I don't have time for-- Beanie: So how does it feel? Bleek: How does what feel? Beanie: Being dead Bleek: SHUT UP! Beanie: hahahaha Bleek: Fuck, I gotta come up with somethin... Jay: *puffs cigar* So you don't mind your daughter marrying a player? Mr. Knowles: Not at all, I wouldn't expect nothin less. Women always look for a man just like their pops. Jay: Oh, you were a old school player, huh? Mr. Knowles: Yeah, whatchu know about the old school, youngin? Jay: Well, actually I'm almost 40 years old. Mr. Knowles: No shit? Damn, we coulda rolled together back in the day. Freeway: EARLY!! Mr. Knowles: Why does he keep shouting that out the blue? Jay: So Matt, tell me about B as a kid. Mr. Knowles: She was a born star... you couldn't tell her nothin. You got your job cut out for you, young scrapper. Jay: I'ma hold it down. Freeway: EARLY!! Mr. Knowles: Okay, can we switch seats? He's startin to scare me. Bleek: Good thing this boat has an on-board jewelry store. Beanie Sigel: Nigga, you gon buy a million dollar ring? Bleek: I ain't tryin to get thrown off a boat, ya heard Beanie: Where you gon get a million dollars? Bleek: I'm glad you asked... *looks down* See I was wondering if... if it wasn't too much trouble... maybe... I mean I know the State Property gear is jumpin off... and you brilliant for pullin that shit off.. it's hot... forreal.. um... I was hopin that maybe... maybe if you had a lil somethin... maybe you could spot me. You know I'm good for it *looks up* ( Beanie Sigel is nowhere to be found) Bleek: Beans? *looks around* Beanie?? Jacob the Jewler: Hi, can I help you? Bleek: Um, yeah... I'm lookin for a wedding ring. Jacob the Jewler: Congratulations. Bleek: Nah man, I'm not gettin married. It's for Jay... I need to get the exact ring he got from you last week. Jacob the Jewler: Oh my... did you lose it? Bleek: That's not important. Look I need-- Jacob the Jewler: HAHAHA What kind of Smeagol loses a million dollar ring? HAHAHA Bleek: Why do people keep calling me that? What the fuck is a Shmegal? Jacob the Jewler: Nevermind. Look my friend, you are in luck. I have one more of those rings left. Bleek: *sigh* Thank you God! Jacob the Jewler: It's on sale for 2.5 million. Bleek: WHAT?!? Jacob the Jewler: 2.5 Bleek: It was a million like 3 days ago. Jacob the Jewler: Supply and demand. Bleek: Man... c'mon Jacob. Don't do this to me man. You know the Roc does you good... we put your kids through college man. Hook me up. Jacob the Jewler: No, Dame put my kids through college. You ask for free, used chains with other people's names on them every time I see you. Bleek: Come on man! Shaq didn't buy the shit.. you coulda gave me that piece. Who gonna buy a big ass Twism chain? Jacob the Jewler: 2.5 my friend. Bleek: Fuck... aight, but I ain't got it on me. Can I put up my house, car.. um... my momma's crib... and the rest on credit? Jacob the Jewler: *draws up the papers* Jay: *fixes collar on Roc-A-Tux* How I look? Dame: Like a camel in a Tux. Jay: C'mon nigga, this my big day. Dame: You look sharp nigga. HOLLA! Jay: Aight nigga... LET'S DO THIS! Roc-A-Priest: What up niggas! We're gathered here today... for some truly gangsta shit! *throws up the Roc* Crowd: HOLLA! Roc-A-Priest: This is a monumentus occasion right here. Sean Carter aka Jay-Z aka Jigga aka Young Hova aka Big Homie... whatever he's going by today... Jay: Notorious J.A.Y. Roc-A-Priest: ... Okay... Today, Notorious J.A.Y. is putting his pimp hand back in the holster, and hanging it up for good. He's finally settling down with none other than Ms. Beyonce Knowles. Beyonce: *holding the same photo-ready grin for 72 hours straight* Roc-A-Priest: If anyone here got beef, speak now or forever hold your peace. Beans: We forever holdin our piece anyway, Rev! *reaches hand in jacket* Crowd: *laughs* Bleek: HAHA Yeah, til death do us part! ... get it? Crowd: *dead silent* Roc-A-Priest: Um... okay. Does anyone have the ring? Bleek: *walks up and pulls out 2.5 million dollar ring* Jay and Dame: *look at each other and laugh* Bleek: What? Dame: *pulls ring out his pocket and hands it to Jay* Bleek: WHAT THE FUCK?? Where do you get that?? Dame: I've had it since he bought it. Bleek: What the fuck was in the ring box you gave me? Dame: I dunno, a cereal toy I think. Bleek: WHAT?! Dame: You lost it didn't you? Bleek: ..... Dame: You lost the cereal toy, so you went and bought a million dollar ring, didn't you? Bleek: 2.5 million Jay and Dame: *look over to Jacob the Jewler* Jacob the Jewler: *shrug* holler. Beyonce: *photo-ready grin* Bleek: Wait... you put me through all that shit and you didn't even give me a real ring? Jay: Fuck I look like trusting you with a ring nigga?? If I was your Burger King manager, I wouldn't put you in charge of onion rings. Freeway: EARLY! Bleek: *looks around nervous* You said you wouldn't mention that Burger King shit, Jay. I do whatever to make ends meet. I ain't shame. Jay: Oh really? Ay, everybody can I have your attention... you're lookin at BK's finest! That's right, Bleek here was employee of the month at Burger King. Crowd: *bursts into laughter* Bleek: That's IT! I ain't standin for this shit anymore. Jay: *offers Bleek a chair* Bleek: Fuck you nigga! Fuck the ROC! Nas murdered you and everyone knows it... Em murdered you on your own shit! You look like a camel... fuck you! I sold my mom's house nigga! Don't come cryin to me when this bitch leaves you for a ball player. Crowd: *dead silent* Jay: *looks at Beanie Sigel* Beans: *nods* Crowd: *eating cake, dancing to Roc music* Jay: I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you... or til you get fat.. whichever comes first. Beyonce: *photo-ready grin* Dame: Yo Jay, you want some cake? Jay: Nah, I feel like a whopper with cheese. Dame: *shouts overboard* Hey, you ready to come back on board and fix us some cheeseburgers nigga? Bleek: *butt-naked, holdin on to a rope* Yeah Dame: What? I can't hear you? Bleek: YEAH NIGGA! Dame: *puts hand to ear* What was that? Bleek: YES SIR. I'M READY TO COME SERVE Y'ALL BURGERS! Dame: Can I have it my way? Bleek: YES! YOU CAN HAVE IT YOUR WAY! Dame: Can I get free cheese? Bleek: C'mon man, you know cheese is a extra 19 cents! Dame: Aight then... I'll holla at you in another hour. *walks away from edge of the boat* Bleek: C'mon Dame, pull me up! HOLLA!! Copyright © 2002, 2003, 2004 SoundCircuit.com. All Rights Reserved. |